Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny
JB (Jack Black), a young hayseed from the Midwest who shocks his conservative parents with his rock music. Banished to his room, JB gets a sign telling him to go to California to become a rock god. In Venice Beach, he meets slacker and guitar virtuoso KG (Kyle Gass). The two become friends, get stoned together, and decide they need to become "the world's greatest rock band." No easy feat, especially when the rent's due. So they plot to steal what might be the answer to their prayers -- a magical guitar pick that's on display in a rock museum 300 miles away. Road trip! On their journey, the friends encounter magical worlds, strange creatures, and even the devil himself. Will they become the band that single-handedly changes the course of rock 'n' roll history? One thing's for sure. These two righteous dudes have a lot of gross, raucous "fun" trying.
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny
In Venice Beach, naive Midwesterner JB bonds with local slacker KG and they form the rock band Tenacious D. Setting out to become the world's greatest band is no easy feat, so they set out to steal what could be the answer to their prayers... a magical guitar pick housed in a rock-and-roll museum some 300 miles away.
I was watching ESPN's SportsCenter a few months back and the guy narrating over the NBA highlights actually said, "How about the power of flight? That do anything for you?" I thought, "Did I just hear a line from 'Wonderboy'? Not possible." Then three minutes later he said, "That's levitation, Holmes!" It was true; the D were getting quoted on fucking SportsCenter! (Jables and Kage probably dug it, though--supposedly they took their name from Marv Albert's exclamation, "That's some tenacious D!")
(d) Taxes. Winning Bidder agrees that he/she is responsible for the payment of any and all applicable taxes due in connection with such Lot, including but not limited to sales tax, use tax, and value-added tax (VAT). All items picked up in California will be charged California state sales tax, as will all items sent to California residents. All items sent to New York residents will be charged New York state sales tax.
Open Mic Host: [comforting Tenacious D] You guys, having some satanic guitar pick isn't gonna make your rock any better... because Satan's not in a guitar pick, he's inside all of us. In here [taps their chests] in your hearts. He's what makes us not want to go to work, or exercise, or tell the truth. He's what makes us want to party and have sex with each other all night long. He's that little voice in your mind that says "F*** you" to the people you hate. Now you can stay out here and fight on the ground and cry like babies, or you can go in there like friends and rock. So, what's it gonna be?
Satan: [singing] Yes you are f***ed/Sh*t out of luck./Now I'm complete and my cock you will suck. This world shall be mine/ and you're first in line/You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!
Store Clerk: You two bozos don't even realize, you've just stumbled upon the darkest secret in the history of rock. I actually saw it once, I used to be a guitar tech, and the lead guitarist comes on, holding this weird looking thing, with horns on, made of green ivory or some sh*t. He starts shredding licks way beyond his capabilities. Like sh*t it had to be coming from somewhere else. It was the Pick, it wasn't him. He didn't know what he had, though. So at the end of the show he just flicks it back into the audience. Some kid catches it. Kid named Eddie van Halen. So I started researching it. I quit my job, moved to Rome, learned Latin. I came to the trust of the senior librarian at the Vatican, he called himself Signore Papadillo - He led me into some sh*t you wouldn't believe. You see this: It's an ancient scroll, all in Latin. I translated it. Took me six years. Turns out this thing goes deeper than you can imagine. Way deeper. Back to the Dark ages. See this: Long ago, a dark wizard used his power to conjure up Satan himself! Satanos - That's Latin for Satan. A horrific battle of violence ensued, but the ancient demon was far too powerful. Luckily, a blacksmith heard the Beast's roars. The Devil was drawn back into the fires of Hell, and the dark wizard was totally stoked to be alive. With a long draw of his hash pipe, the wizard sought a way to repay the blacksmith. The blacksmith loved a fair maiden, but in order to gain her affection, he would need a true master's skill to leave her moist and wanting. The dark wizard fashioned the demon's tooth into a pick, enabling the blacksmith to play the most masterful of melodies on his lute - Thereby winning the heart of the maiden he loved. The secret of the Pick died with that blacksmith, but then, poof, all of a sudden, it reappears back in the American South, at the turn of the century, in Robert Johnson's fingers, and spawns the birth of the blues, and rock 'n roll. The Pick is a tiny part of the Beast, and so it has supranatural qualities, a whole other level above super.